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  “Come on, you son of a bitch!” the Hoodie screeched. Jack bellowed and charged the bastard, catching him in the torso with his shoulder, tackling him. Jack dusted himself off as he stood. Both Hoodies squirmed on the ground of the lot. The gathered crowd cheered and Jack turned to his adoring public. He raised his hands and they cheered harder. Jack was basking in the Raven’s celebrity when his admirer shouted.

  “Look out, Raven!” Jack grabbed his secret weapon, a Taser he’d bought six years ago. He spun on the Hoodies, brandishing the weapon. The two douchey teens stopped in their tracks.

  “What’s wrong, dick-turds? Scared?” Jack asked them and punctuated his inquiry by pressing the trigger on the Taser. A bolt of electricity jumped across the contacts, reinforcing Jack’s intimidation. Jack lunged at the pair and they broke, charging down the alley away from the man they believed was the Raven. The crowd cheered again. Jack stowed the Taser. “Show’s over, folks,” Jack called. “I appreciate your support, but move along. Nothing else to see here.” The crowd mumbled praise as they obeyed Jack’s orders and dispersed. Jack walked to the street. All but one had retreated.

  “That was amazing!” the last observer whispered. Jack raised a hand, indicating that it was all in a day’s work.

  “Just doing my duty,” Jack offered, smiling. When his eyes fell on the final onlooker, his mouth dropped open at the sight of Kris. The young man from IT took a deep breath.

  “Your contribution to this city is invaluable,” Kris said carefully. Jack could tell that the beautiful young man was just past tipsy. Jack shook his head.

  “Not at all,” Jack tried.

  “You deserve recognition. I’m going to a party. Come with me,” he ordered.

  Jack couldn’t speak, he was so shocked. Kris was dressed in a fantastic replica of Jason Isaac’s Lucius Malfoy costume. It makes sense, Jack thought. Same hair. Jack was happy to discover Kris’s love of the Harry Potter universe, one more thing they had in common. Kris held out the hand that wasn’t holding the snake-headed cane. Jack didn’t want to lie to the object of his desire but he was headed to the same place anyway. He decided to play along and grabbed the other man’s black-gloved hand.

  “Lead the way,” Jack stated. Kris giggled and shook the taloned hand. “So you like Harry Potter too?”

  “Totally,” Kris answered, and the couple carried on an animated discussion about the wizarding world as they walked to Dip’s party.

  JACK felt the bass from the music a block away. The guests overflowed onto the front porch, smoking, cups in their hands. The murmur of shouted discussions ceased as Jack and Kris approached Dip’s house. “I can’t believe you’re into the Death Eaters!” Kris bellowed. “How can one of the greatest heroes ever, a vigilant proponent of all that is good and right, think Voldemort’s minions are hot?”

  “It’s just aesthetics,” Jack tried to explain, wondering what the Raven would really think of the dark wizards or if he even had time for such things. “The bad guys are always hotter than the good guys.” Jack watched Kris’s eyes grow wide. A mischievous smile split his face.

  “Oh,” Kris said as he reached out and traced Jack’s collarbone. “I don’t know about that. I know at least one good guy that’s smoking hot.” Jack felt himself blush at Kris’s implication. Kris grabbed his hand and pulled him into the throng of gyrating, hot bodies.

  Kris danced as he dragged Jack behind him. Jack noticed Dip had gone all out: disco ball, crazy lighting, and a DJ at the back of the living room. The bass line was getting to Jack, and he started to move with the music. He danced past a female Batman and Robin, who were making out. Kris bounced off someone dressed as the Kool-Aid Man.

  “Excuse me,” Kris yelled over the din.

  “Oh yeah!” the Kool-Aid Man answered. Jack laughed at the joke. Kris pulled him toward the kitchen and Dip’s liquor. Jack scanned the crowd. He saw at least three sexy Hermiones, a Shaggy, a Scooby, and two Velmas. He noticed a Barack Obama with breasts. He did a double-take at the two guys dressed as Dr. Teeth and Animal from The Muppet Show. He brushed past Fox Mulder and Dana Scully before he ran into a Wolverine. They finally made it to the kitchen and Leonidus from 300 was doing a keg stand while Naruto pumped the keg. Jack thought the Naruto costume was great but the blond spikey wig looked totally fake. Pee-Wee Herman was mixing a drink for Borat as Jack and Kris approached the bar.

  “What’s up, fellas?” Pee-Wee greeted them. “Holy shit-fuck! The Raven!”

  “I got to watch him save a lady in an alley,” Kris stated proudly to the room, and began mixing drinks. Borat ran to the door and called to the people in the living room.

  “The real motherfucking Raven is here!” he roared to the guests. A mass migration to the kitchen occurred almost instantly. Kris placed a cup in Jack’s taloned gauntlet. Jack raised the cup to the accumulating crowd, and the various superheroes, cartoon characters, and random slutty stereotypes cheered.

  “To the Raven and all he’s done for this city!” Kris toasted.

  “To the Raven!” the crowd echoed. Jack took a great gulp of the drink. It tasted like grapefruit and rubbing alcohol. He took a second sip as the crowd murmured and discussed the Raven’s presence. A new song started and the attending throng thinned a bit as some guests wandered off to mingle or dance. Al Capone congratulated him, patting him on the shoulder. A passing zombie raised his cup in salute to Jack, who nodded his appreciation and raised his own cup in return. Kris recounted Jack’s encounter in the alley. Jack mingled and slipped through a sea of doting masked faces. He beamed as he shook a Green Lantern’s hand while Donald Trump patted him on the back. A guy with cats attached all over him wearing a shirt that read “Pussy Magnet” offered the Raven another drink. Jack took it gratefully. It felt as though the crowd was passing him along, a human current of admirers. He sipped his drink and danced with a zombie Marie Antoinette, Jareth from Labyrinth, and a trio of Rocky Horror characters—Frank, Riff-Raff, and Magenta—until he was snatched from behind and pulled into a dark, empty room.

  For the second time that night Jack wished he had the Raven’s night vision capabilities. “What’s going on?” he growled into the dark.

  “Don’t attack me.” Kris’s voice drifted from somewhere close and he opened his phone so Jack could see him and the pantry he’d been pulled into. “Sorry. It looked like you were getting a little overwhelmed out there.” He smiled, one corner of his mouth curling a little higher than the other as he shrugged apologetically.

  “No,” Jack said, thinking quickly. “That’s fine. I’m not used to all this attention.” He remembered to use a little bit of Batman in his voice. “I usually work alone.” Kris pressed his body closer to Jack’s as his phone dimmed slightly to conserve the battery.

  “That sounds awfully—” Kris paused “—lonely,” he finished in a sultry tone. Jack downed the last of the drink he’d carried in with him as the light on Kris’s phone dimmed completely. Jack felt Kris take the empty cup out of his hand just before he felt Kris’s body pressing against his own again. Jack’s cock reacted instantly within his dark Kevlar briefs.

  “I’ve always wanted to touch you like this,” Kris whispered as he kissed Jack’s exposed jaw line, one hand resting on Jack’s chest while the other gripped his utility belt. The pretty man from IT slid his hand slightly lower, cradling Jack’s growing erection. Kris chuckled. “It seems like you’re enjoying yourself,” he observed, and squeezed Jack’s balls, drawing a moan from Jack’s throat. “Oh, Raven, you’re so big,” Kris whispered, and released Jack’s balls so he could grab the Raven’s ass and press his own throbbing hard-on against Jack’s.

  A sudden stab of guilt made Jack speak. “I’m not who you think I am,” Jack confessed. Kris pressed his finger over the Raven’s full lips.

  “Shh,” he noised. “It’s okay. I don’t need to know your secret identity. I understand.” Before Jack could say anything else, Kris smashed his mouth into Jack’s, kissing him hard. Jack’s resolv
e to reveal his little deceit melted in the onslaught of that kiss. He opened his mouth, allowing Kris’s tongue in and reciprocating with his own. Kris’s hands danced over Jack’s body, squeezing, kneading, caressing.

  “My God, you’re ripped,” Kris observed. “I knew you would be, but this goes beyond amazing.”

  “I’ve been working out,” Jack offered, a little lamely, as he returned the favor, his gloved hands exploring Kris’s form. Jack cradled the other man’s face and Kris drew a sharp breath as one of the Raven’s talons scraped his neck. Realizing his mistake, Jack shook off the gauntlets so he could feel the beautiful skin of the other young man.

  “Oh, yes,” Kris moaned at Jack’s touch. Jack kissed Kris’s jaw, drifting down his neck and opening the fancy black dress shirt. The Raven’s metal beak caught on Kris’s shoulder. Frustrated, Jack peeled the mask from his head as Kris shrugged out of his cloak and frock coat.

  Jack grabbed the back of Kris’s head and smashed their mouths together, kissing vigorously, then hit the release on his utility belt. Kris used the opening to reach into Jack’s pants and grip his new partner’s erection, eliciting a moan of encouragement, while Jack returned the gesture and reached into the tight silk trousers of Kris’s costume. Jack gripped Kris’s ass cheeks and pulled him close. Kris used the hand not gripping Jack’s shaft to work the Raven’s briefs and pants down. Jack followed suit, slipping Kris’s pants down as well. Kris kicked off a pointy-toed Beatle boot and slipped one leg out of his pants. The exposure encouraged Jack to spin with his shadowy lover so Kris’s back rested against the wall of the pantry cupboards as he dropped to his knees.

  Gripping Kris’s raging hard-on, Jack ran his tongue up and down along the shaft, teasing the bundle of nerves just below the crown, then dipped his head and took Kris’s balls into his mouth. The other man moaned and twined his fingers into Jack’s messy locks. Jack released Kris’s scrotum with his mouth, only to catch it in his palm before his mouth slid below, as Jack’s tongue sought out Kris’s burning, eager hole, grazing the delightful pucker. Kris raised his leg, resting his foot on Jack’s shoulder and offering easier access. The tight ring of muscle convulsed as Jack’s tongue darted out to breach Kris’s tight ring of flesh. Kris gripped Jack’s hair with both hands, lost in the ecstasy of his partner’s attention.

  “That’s so good,” Kris gasped.

  Jack purred, sending a rumble of sensual vibration into Kris’s sensitive area.

  “God, Raven, I want you,” Kris confessed, and Jack eased up to face his partner.

  “Kris.” Jack tried once more to confess his true identity.

  “Raven,” Kris answered, grabbing Jack’s cock and pressing it against his yearning tunnel.

  “Good God, Kris,” Jack breathed. “I want you so bad.”

  “Take me. Please, take me.”

  Jack pressed eagerly in response before he caught himself. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he confessed.

  In response Kris’s hand scrabbled out to the pantry shelf and retrieved a bottle. Kris released Jack’s firm cock and opened the lid. Jack smelled a faint Mediterranean scent and recognized the smell of olive oil just before Kris slathered the slippery oil on Jack’s throbbing cock with both hands. Jack felt the bottle drop to the floor. One of the blond man’s hands retreated and Jack assumed it was to apply the oil to his own hot pucker.

  Kris guided Jack’s erection to Kris’s humid tube where Jack found his partner’s fingers ensconced. He pressed his eager head against Kris’s knuckles and the pretty man removed his fingers to allow Jack entrance. Jack’s aching hard-on breached his blond lover’s tight muscles. Kris moaned and encircled Jack with his legs, dragging them into greater intimacy. Kris braced his back against the pantry and drove himself against Jack’s raging erection. In response, Jack drummed himself against his partner’s gland. Kris bellowed satisfaction as the imitation Raven drove forcibly into him. Jack couldn’t believe how lucky he was to engage in such vigorous physicality with his long-time crush.

  Jack utilized the excess oil from his palm to lubricate his lover’s shaft before he grasped Kris’s erection, smashed between their bodies. Both men were grunting and gasping as they thrust against each other. Jack drove into his partner even as Kris returned those efforts. Jack bit his lip as he felt the impending tremors of his inevitable orgasm.

  “Don’t stop,” Kris encouraged. “Give it to me. Please, God, Raven.” Jack obliged, pounding his rigid cock into Kris. Jack felt the first convulsions of his orgasm. Kris’s muscles responded, contracting around Jack’s hard-on.

  “Oh my God,” Jack gasped as his cock bucked within Kris. He felt Kris’s erection jumping in his hand; they were both ready to release their overwhelming orgasms. Muscles contracted, and they embraced each other, trying to ride out their intense feelings. Their exclamations of ecstasy were loud and incoherent as both men erupted with the pleasure of realizing their ambitions to be with their respective crushes. Jack stroked every last drop from the pretty IT boy’s cock even as Kris’s tight ring of muscle coaxed out all of the Raven’s seed and Jack’s energy with it.

  Spent and gasping, Jack rested his moist forehead against the crook of Kris’s neck. Both men heaved great breaths of air. “Dear God, that was fantastic,” Kris whispered, breathless.

  “Beyond fantastic,” Jack corrected. With tremendous effort he peeled his body from Kris’s, retreating from within the young man. Kris groaned at the sudden absence. Jack cast around for a rag, and retrieved a roll of paper towels. He offered a few to Kris, who took them gratefully, before he used several to clean himself.

  “I need a drink,” Kris announced. “My throat is crazy dry.” Jack heard the other man hastily putting his clothes back on just before he felt Kris’s lips on his forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I’ll be back, Raven.” Jack opened his mouth once more to confess but Kris slipped out of the pantry. A sliver of light fell on Jack’s face before he sat in pitch darkness once more.

  Jack pulled up his pants, wondering if Kris had recognized him in that moment of revealing light. He quickly snapped his belt, slipped his mask back on, and then his gauntlets, before he crept from the pantry and heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of Dip, sporting a mop-top wig, silly goatee, and a familiar green T-shirt with rust colored bell-bottoms. Jack couldn’t help but laugh at the Scooby-Doo backpack his friend wore to complete the outfit. Dip would never grow up and Jack relished his best friend’s unpredictable consistency. “Dippy!” Jack called, emerging from the pantry.

  “Zoinks!” Dip exclaimed. “Like, hey, Jack! Awesome costume. People are saying the real Raven is here too.” Jack threw an arm around his friend and led him out to the back yard where the crowd was thinner.

  “He’s not. It’s me,” Jack explained. “I just had sex with Kris in your pantry!”

  “Dude!” Dip exclaimed. “That’s awesome!” He thought for a moment and added, “And maybe kind of gross. But congrats, buddy.”

  “No!” Jack hissed. “He thinks I’m the real Raven!”

  “So?”

  “So?” Jack repeated incredulously. “I want him to like me, not the Raven. I tried to tell him, like, nine times, and he wouldn’t let me!”

  “Calm down, dude,” Dip said soothingly. “This isn’t the end of the world.”

  “No?” Jack asked.

  “No,” Dip confirmed. “We’ll figure something out. Damn, that costume is off the hook!”

  “Thanks.” Jack sighed. “What am I going to do?”

  “Nobody knows the Raven’s real identity, right?” Dip asked, and Jack shrugged. “Just confess that you’re really the Raven. Then pull a Spectacular Spider-Man issue two-twenty-nine and vow to give up the life for him.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Jack asked. “What happens when the real Raven makes the news again?”

  “You tell Kris there must be a copycat who has assumed your mantle for the cause of righteousness.”

  “That’s absurd.”


  “It could work,” Dip stated sagely.

  Jack thought about it despite his apprehension before he shook his head. “I can’t,” he said. “I can’t start a relationship based on deceit.”

  “You already did, dude.”

  “Son of a bitch,” Jack spat and slid the mask from his face. He was moist with the sweat of distress and the mask was becoming uncomfortable. “This seemed like such a good idea,” Jack ventured, regarding the mask in his hand. Dip shook his head violently and made cutting motions across his throat with his finger. Jack raised his eyebrows at the frightened scowl on his friend’s face. “What, Dip?” Dip didn’t speak. He only pointed beyond Jack’s shoulder. Jack’s blood felt like ice in his veins, knowing even before he turned what he would see when he looked at where Dippy was pointing. Still, Jack turned to see Kris standing in the doorway of the kitchen, mouth agape and eyes wide.

  “You’re not the Raven,” Kris whispered. “You’re Jack from design.” Jack couldn’t find words to answer Kris’s statement, though he felt an odd warmth at the fact that Kris recognized him.

  “I am.”

  “You tricked me.” Kris’s voice broke as though he might cry.

  “No,” Jack and Dip spoke in unison. Jack continued alone, shooting Dip a warning glance. “I didn’t mean to,” he tried to explain.

  “You son of a bitch,” Kris spat, before turning and disappearing in the crowd.

  “Aw, shitballs,” Jack cursed.

  “Dude, go after him,” Dip advised.

  “I will,” Jack agreed, and turned to leave.

  “Wait.” Dip stopped him. “What are you going to tell him?”

  “The truth.” Jack waited for his friend’s response.

  Dippy scratched the goatee he’d recently grown as he thought about Jack’s plan. “That never works.”